The Healing of Forgiving

Forgiveness is the voluntary act to change the way you feel about something. Forgiving is the voluntary act to let healing happen.

There is something about “letting go.” Without a doubt, what it does to the soul is exhilarating. Forgiveness means so many things: Love, hope, learning, living, freedom. It is the powerful statement that “I can go on.”

Focus

To truly forgive someone or something that has happened, you really have to focus on the positives in that person or circumstances. You might say, “How on earth can I be positive if I have just lost a loved one?” Losing a loved one is a terrible aspect of life to experience, but we all know we will pass at some point or another, and we cannot determine when that will be. So being a fact of life, we can choose how we want to interpret a death. It could be to believe the person you lost had a higher purpose. It could be, they have gone to make you stronger for what is to come in the future. Or it could be that the person who is gone would want to see you live a full life, free from unhappiness. It really is up to you how you view it. You can choose to view it from the perspective of “the world is against me,” or from forgiving. Forgiving will let the light shine through and allow you to move on.

Forget

Forgiving is forgetting. For me as a professional golfer, this is such a powerful tool to use effectively while I play. In life, we are taught to enjoy “the moment” and to “live in the present,” this runs true for golf as well, we are encouraged to stay in the present so we can focus all of our attention into that one shot. If you are thinking back to a bad hole or even a good shot, you are not putting your full attention and focus on the task at hand. More specifically, dwelling over a bad shot would not put me in the best emotional or physical state for my next shot or for the holes ahead. Therefore, it is crucial to learn to forget the past and forgive yourself, which will allow you to mentally let go and forget the bad.

Psychologically, we tend to forget things after we forgive because it is at that point we are truly not putting any energy or thought toward that particular thing or person. Once we remove or lessen our emotion from something, or better still, replace it with good, positive thoughts, we tend to forget the bad as we only remember things we hold strong emotional attachments to. You only have to read up on all the great teachers and minds before us—they have all been great forgivers.

Pay Forward

The expression “life is too short”, comes up on many occasions, one being, when we think about the arguments we have with people. They may have done something to us, and we insist on standing our ground while demanding apologies. We convince ourselves that they need to pay for what they have done. However, if you are of a good nature, you will know that making someone pay for a wrong will not turn back the clock and make what happened disappear. The most important thing is that you have peace within yourself. To help reach that point, forgiving is really the only way. Showing one of the most incredible human feelings, compassion, while taking the perspective, “I will be okay”, will make it easier to move on and then be focused not only on the present but on better and more positive things. To forgive instead of making someone pays is a sort of paying it forward. A person freed by the benevolent forgiveness of another is more likely to forgive others who might have wronged them.

Forgive everyone—including you!

I also see examples of people who do not forgive. The worst kind being those who do not forgive themselves. This can be a tough place to be in when you know you’ve done something wrong and don’t know how to fix it. However; it is key you look after yourself, and forgiving is a great way of making sure that you do that. More than anything else, it keeps your mind healthy and free from the burdens of negative thoughts. Try to make amends where you can and move on.

Forgive family

Forgiveness enriches relationships and makes trials seem like tiny bumps instead of massive pot holes. Forgiving your family allows those relationships to be more understanding and fulfilling.. The kind of forgiveness I show my family gets projected toward everyone else, including myself. As I mentioned, forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving others, it ensures you create a good relationship and respect for yourself. You then learn from your experiences and it allows you to maintain the confidence that you can do better the next time. That would be amazing. That kind of forgiveness would truly make the world a better place. It is a challenge, but it’s one I am up for…are you?

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